1 00:00:05,527 --> 00:00:09,618 ISAAC: It is sad, but you've picked a wonderful place to die. 2 00:00:09,748 --> 00:00:11,141 This is the library. 3 00:00:11,142 --> 00:00:13,708 There are many fine works of literature to peruse, 4 00:00:13,709 --> 00:00:15,232 but of course we are limited 5 00:00:15,319 --> 00:00:17,887 to whatever the Livings are perusing 6 00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:20,107 because of our inability 7 00:00:20,194 --> 00:00:22,326 to interact with the physical world. 8 00:00:22,457 --> 00:00:23,588 [gasps] 9 00:00:23,719 --> 00:00:25,721 Yeah, this being a ghost thing is wild. 10 00:00:25,851 --> 00:00:27,636 Oh, and that big Viking guy 11 00:00:27,637 --> 00:00:29,941 was telling me something about ghost powers. 12 00:00:29,942 --> 00:00:31,553 Do you have one of those? 13 00:00:31,727 --> 00:00:32,945 [smacks lips] 14 00:00:33,729 --> 00:00:35,383 No. 15 00:00:35,557 --> 00:00:36,732 [gasps] There she is. 16 00:00:36,819 --> 00:00:37,869 NIGEL: So it's true. 17 00:00:37,907 --> 00:00:39,778 Um, hello. 18 00:00:39,909 --> 00:00:42,738 I'm Nigel, and this is Creepy Dirk. 19 00:00:42,868 --> 00:00:44,218 We live in the basement. 20 00:00:44,392 --> 00:00:46,829 We're kind of the social elite of the house. 21 00:00:46,959 --> 00:00:50,180 So, are you dating anyone yet? 22 00:00:50,354 --> 00:00:51,573 I died two days ago. 23 00:00:51,574 --> 00:00:53,661 There's always a bit of a feeding frenzy 24 00:00:53,662 --> 00:00:55,229 when a new ghost arrives. 25 00:00:55,403 --> 00:00:59,146 Welcome. I'm Baxter, of the Revolutionary shed ghosts. 26 00:00:59,320 --> 00:01:01,365 I hear you're a musician. 27 00:01:01,366 --> 00:01:03,192 Which is something we have in common. 28 00:01:03,193 --> 00:01:05,152 I play the fife. 29 00:01:05,153 --> 00:01:06,630 Oh, that's nice. [chuckles] 30 00:01:06,631 --> 00:01:08,110 ISAAC [chuckling]: Okay, well, 31 00:01:08,111 --> 00:01:10,679 now the competition's grown too intense. 32 00:01:10,680 --> 00:01:13,376 So it would be pointless for me to throw my hat into the ring 33 00:01:13,377 --> 00:01:15,858 at this late date. [laughs] 34 00:01:15,988 --> 00:01:17,729 Darn! Darn! 35 00:01:17,860 --> 00:01:20,732 [chuckles] Anyway, may the best man win. 36 00:01:22,777 --> 00:01:24,127 Isn't he... 37 00:01:24,214 --> 00:01:26,390 -Oh, yeah. -Big-time. -Very much so. 38 00:01:26,564 --> 00:01:28,523 ? 39 00:01:31,395 --> 00:01:33,658 Jay, we're helping Trevor brainstorm 40 00:01:33,789 --> 00:01:35,660 some gift ideas for his boss. 41 00:01:35,661 --> 00:01:37,748 If you were turning 50, what would you want? 42 00:01:37,749 --> 00:01:39,402 Batman action figure, 43 00:01:39,490 --> 00:01:41,780 specifically the 1966 Marx Bendable Batman. 44 00:01:41,781 --> 00:01:43,363 Did it shrivel your desire for him, 45 00:01:43,364 --> 00:01:45,322 how quickly he came up with that? 46 00:01:45,323 --> 00:01:47,410 Okay, you don't ask nerd boy for help picking out a gift 47 00:01:47,411 --> 00:01:49,196 for a finance baller like Brett. 48 00:01:49,370 --> 00:01:51,502 I need to get this right. 49 00:01:51,633 --> 00:01:52,683 The pressure is on. 50 00:01:52,764 --> 00:01:54,765 This is for my boss! 51 00:01:54,853 --> 00:01:57,503 Gifts are tricky, particularly for your superiors. 52 00:01:57,504 --> 00:01:59,422 One time, a butler gifted me a silk scarf, 53 00:01:59,423 --> 00:02:02,122 and it actually earned him a pay cut. 54 00:02:02,123 --> 00:02:04,427 He should not be able to afford a silk scarf. 55 00:02:04,428 --> 00:02:06,822 Exactly. You don't want to come on too strong, 56 00:02:06,952 --> 00:02:08,824 or you'll be perceived as a kiss-ass. 57 00:02:08,954 --> 00:02:10,739 But you can't go too cheap, 58 00:02:10,869 --> 00:02:13,045 like when Sam got Jay's mom that beer cozy. 59 00:02:13,046 --> 00:02:14,742 -[both groan] -[Samantha scoffs] 60 00:02:14,743 --> 00:02:16,658 That was supposed to be ironic. 61 00:02:16,832 --> 00:02:18,529 Because she drinks tea. 62 00:02:18,530 --> 00:02:21,183 Oh, so the joke is that it's useless to her. Good one. 63 00:02:21,184 --> 00:02:23,404 Ooh! What about a jaguar? 64 00:02:23,534 --> 00:02:26,233 I think a car is coming on too strong. 65 00:02:26,363 --> 00:02:28,626 What? No, I'm talking about the animal. 66 00:02:28,713 --> 00:02:32,064 Once trained, jaguars make excellent pets. 67 00:02:32,195 --> 00:02:34,545 Though not for the postal carrier. 68 00:02:34,676 --> 00:02:36,939 Your jaguar attacked your mailman? 69 00:02:36,940 --> 00:02:38,374 Okay, that's got to be Hetty. 70 00:02:38,375 --> 00:02:40,856 Let me guess: They're also delicious to eat. 71 00:02:40,986 --> 00:02:44,381 A little gamy, actually, for my taste. 72 00:02:44,512 --> 00:02:47,863 But their skulls make handsome cocaine bowls. 73 00:02:47,993 --> 00:02:49,386 Maybe one of those. 74 00:02:49,387 --> 00:02:51,518 It's not too expensive, and-and it's thoughtful, 75 00:02:51,519 --> 00:02:53,563 given what you've said about your boss's predilections. 76 00:02:53,564 --> 00:02:55,477 Yeah, sure. Sam, can you run over to Target, 77 00:02:55,478 --> 00:02:57,654 see if they have any jaguar skull cocaine bowls 78 00:02:57,655 --> 00:02:59,353 left in stock? 79 00:02:59,483 --> 00:03:02,573 See? This discussion was fruitful after all. 80 00:03:02,704 --> 00:03:04,053 What you doing? 81 00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:06,098 I'm waiting for Pete to get back. 82 00:03:06,099 --> 00:03:08,970 He went to Jamaica to see if any of my relatives are ghosts. 83 00:03:08,971 --> 00:03:11,843 Pete also cross ocean for Thor, but much further. 84 00:03:12,017 --> 00:03:13,671 Greater risk he disappear. 85 00:03:13,802 --> 00:03:16,413 -What's your point? -Just that Thor special, too. 86 00:03:16,544 --> 00:03:17,632 [sighs]: Okay. 87 00:03:17,719 --> 00:03:19,503 Howdy! 88 00:03:19,504 --> 00:03:22,157 Uhp, pardon me, I'm a little shorthanded. [chuckles] 89 00:03:22,158 --> 00:03:23,908 [laughs]: Oh, Pete, you're back! 90 00:03:23,942 --> 00:03:26,206 THORFINN: Glad you back from Jamaica, 91 00:03:26,207 --> 00:03:27,684 -which is much closer than Norway. -[laughs] 92 00:03:27,685 --> 00:03:29,165 So, tell me everything. 93 00:03:29,296 --> 00:03:31,950 How was your trip? Did you locate any of my family? 94 00:03:32,081 --> 00:03:33,387 As a matter of fact, I did. 95 00:03:33,388 --> 00:03:35,214 Your grandmother, Hortense, is a ghost. 96 00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:36,965 -Oh, my God. You talked to her? -Yep. 97 00:03:36,999 --> 00:03:38,696 She is a peach of a lady. 98 00:03:38,697 --> 00:03:41,307 And she has a message for you. Do you want me to do her accent? 99 00:03:41,308 --> 00:03:42,961 -No. -Copy that. 100 00:03:42,962 --> 00:03:45,136 Well, she was thrilled to learn that you're a singer. 101 00:03:45,137 --> 00:03:46,921 She still remembers you as a three-year-old 102 00:03:46,922 --> 00:03:49,620 belting out spirituals on a summer Sunday. 103 00:03:49,621 --> 00:03:52,143 Alberta, she was just beaming with pride about you. 104 00:03:52,144 --> 00:03:54,582 I'm touched that you would do this for me. 105 00:03:54,756 --> 00:03:57,406 -Honestly, I'm getting a little choked up. -Aw, yeah. 106 00:03:57,407 --> 00:03:59,238 Donna thought you might react that way. 107 00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:01,763 I'm sorry, what? You saw Donna? 108 00:04:01,937 --> 00:04:03,939 Your ex-girlfriend Donna? 109 00:04:03,940 --> 00:04:05,156 Yeah, yeah. I was in the neighborhood, 110 00:04:05,157 --> 00:04:06,357 so I thought, "Why not?" 111 00:04:06,463 --> 00:04:08,335 Yeah. Why not? [chuckles] 112 00:04:08,465 --> 00:04:10,946 Because they used to have intercourse. 113 00:04:11,033 --> 00:04:13,165 -Could be awkward. -Oh, come on. 114 00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:15,423 We're just friends. It's not awkward at all. 115 00:04:15,516 --> 00:04:16,821 If you say so. 116 00:04:16,952 --> 00:04:19,998 Uh, Sam? We got to talk. 117 00:04:20,129 --> 00:04:22,653 Oh. Trevor just came in looking concerned. 118 00:04:22,654 --> 00:04:25,220 Well, I settled on a birthday gift for my boss Brett, 119 00:04:25,221 --> 00:04:27,484 and it did not go over how I'd hoped. 120 00:04:27,485 --> 00:04:29,964 -What'd you get him? -It's called a stripper-gram. 121 00:04:29,965 --> 00:04:31,619 SAMANTHA: Oh, my God. 122 00:04:31,620 --> 00:04:33,837 Trevor got Brett a stripper-gram for his birthday. 123 00:04:33,838 --> 00:04:37,189 The Brettinator? I bet he loved that, right? 124 00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:40,280 He did. It's just, Human Resources did not. 125 00:04:40,409 --> 00:04:43,631 Okay, I'm taking from context clues that a stripper-gram 126 00:04:43,805 --> 00:04:45,372 is like a telegram, 127 00:04:45,373 --> 00:04:47,721 but the message is delivered by some sort of harlot. 128 00:04:47,722 --> 00:04:49,854 She was dressed as an HVAC repairwoman. 129 00:04:49,855 --> 00:04:52,552 The bit being that she felt it was so hot in Brett's office 130 00:04:52,553 --> 00:04:54,554 that she could not perform her duties clothed. 131 00:04:54,555 --> 00:04:56,295 Forget the stripping, I'm hooked on the plot. 132 00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:58,993 Apparently, stupid Linda from accounting happened by, 133 00:04:58,994 --> 00:05:00,909 reported the whole thing. 134 00:05:01,039 --> 00:05:03,564 Didn't even let Candi get to the big finish. 135 00:05:03,651 --> 00:05:06,131 So what does this mean? Are you fired? 136 00:05:06,262 --> 00:05:08,220 Not exactly, but it's bad. 137 00:05:08,351 --> 00:05:11,006 HR wants to see me tomorrow, in person. 138 00:05:11,136 --> 00:05:12,660 But you can't go in person. 139 00:05:12,661 --> 00:05:14,791 And even if you could, they could not see you. 140 00:05:14,792 --> 00:05:18,535 HR wants to see Trevor tomorrow, in New York, in person. 141 00:05:18,622 --> 00:05:19,841 Okay. 142 00:05:19,971 --> 00:05:21,756 This is simple. 143 00:05:21,886 --> 00:05:24,956 Young Jay must simply redon his persona of Michael Jackson, 144 00:05:24,957 --> 00:05:27,674 which he did so successfully at the work retreat at Woodstone, 145 00:05:27,675 --> 00:05:30,025 and head into the city in Trevor's stead. 146 00:05:30,112 --> 00:05:31,243 The ghosts are saying... 147 00:05:31,244 --> 00:05:32,809 I know what they're saying, Sam. 148 00:05:32,810 --> 00:05:35,857 They want me to get chewed out by HR on Trevor's behalf. 149 00:05:35,987 --> 00:05:37,075 Well, guess what. 150 00:05:37,206 --> 00:05:39,034 I'm not doing it! 151 00:05:39,207 --> 00:05:40,257 Uh, Jay... 152 00:05:40,427 --> 00:05:42,342 No, don't "Jay" me, okay? 153 00:05:42,429 --> 00:05:43,821 It's a nonstarter. 154 00:05:43,908 --> 00:05:45,909 What do I care if a ghost lost their job? 155 00:05:45,910 --> 00:05:48,651 Frankly, I think it's weird that a ghost has a job at all, 156 00:05:48,652 --> 00:05:50,914 and I don't think that's a controversial opinion! 157 00:05:50,915 --> 00:05:52,905 Are you gonna tell him or should I, Sam? 158 00:05:52,917 --> 00:05:56,486 The thing is, we're sort of- how do I put this?- 159 00:05:56,617 --> 00:05:59,271 uh, dependent on Trevor's salary 160 00:05:59,272 --> 00:06:01,229 -to stay financially solvent. -[gasps] 161 00:06:01,230 --> 00:06:03,232 Excuse me? 162 00:06:03,233 --> 00:06:06,190 It's just, we've encountered so many unexpected expenses, 163 00:06:06,191 --> 00:06:07,888 and I tried to make the numbers work, 164 00:06:07,889 --> 00:06:09,579 but the math wasn't mathing, Jay. 165 00:06:09,586 --> 00:06:11,719 So No Pants has been keeping us afloat? 166 00:06:11,720 --> 00:06:14,198 Ironic for a guy who was fished out of the bottom of a lake. 167 00:06:14,199 --> 00:06:15,504 SAMANTHA: I wanted to tell you, 168 00:06:15,505 --> 00:06:18,160 but I also didn't want to stress you out. 169 00:06:18,161 --> 00:06:19,595 You've been working so hard, 170 00:06:19,596 --> 00:06:21,510 trying to get the restaurant up and running. 171 00:06:21,511 --> 00:06:23,730 But what about the list? We-we got on the list. 172 00:06:23,731 --> 00:06:25,688 And it's helping some. We're getting busier, 173 00:06:25,689 --> 00:06:28,212 and that's great momentum that we need to build on. 174 00:06:28,213 --> 00:06:30,477 But we're not profitable yet. 175 00:06:30,478 --> 00:06:33,087 What about your book? You were a stocking stuffer. 176 00:06:33,088 --> 00:06:35,611 And again, that's great, but it's not exactly a windfall. 177 00:06:35,612 --> 00:06:37,602 I mean, most authors also have a day job. 178 00:06:37,614 --> 00:06:38,702 Candi's an author. 179 00:06:38,832 --> 00:06:40,748 It's absolute smut but well told. 180 00:06:40,878 --> 00:06:42,619 So, wh-what are you saying, Sam? 181 00:06:42,750 --> 00:06:46,928 I'm saying we won't need Trevor's money, eventually. 182 00:06:47,102 --> 00:06:49,278 But if we want to make it to summer, 183 00:06:49,409 --> 00:06:52,020 we got to save Trevor's job. 184 00:06:54,501 --> 00:06:56,677 Looks like Michael Jackson is going to HR. 185 00:07:02,639 --> 00:07:04,380 Let me ask you guys something. 186 00:07:04,381 --> 00:07:06,337 Do you think it's okay for someone to make a special trip 187 00:07:06,338 --> 00:07:08,165 to see their ex when they're dating someone else? 188 00:07:08,166 --> 00:07:10,559 It wasn't a special trip. I was in the neighborhood. 189 00:07:10,560 --> 00:07:12,648 Is Saint Lucia in the neighborhood, though? [chuckles] 190 00:07:12,649 --> 00:07:14,172 I'm not a geography expert, 191 00:07:14,173 --> 00:07:15,999 but I feel like you have to go out of your way. 192 00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:18,132 Well, you know, the Caribbean isn't that big of a place. 193 00:07:18,133 --> 00:07:21,049 Caribbean Islands span over thousand miles east to west. 194 00:07:21,050 --> 00:07:22,876 You know that because of your Viking voyages? 195 00:07:22,877 --> 00:07:24,356 No. 196 00:07:24,531 --> 00:07:26,701 Captain Sandy sailed ship out of Antigua, 197 00:07:26,707 --> 00:07:28,535 season eight, Below Deck. 198 00:07:28,536 --> 00:07:31,450 Reality TV is a fount of wisdom. It doesn't get enough credit. 199 00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:33,540 Donna and I are just friends. 200 00:07:33,541 --> 00:07:35,323 It's still weird. She might be into you. 201 00:07:35,324 --> 00:07:37,674 But I'm not into her, so it doesn't matter. 202 00:07:37,805 --> 00:07:40,329 Okay, well, that British shed ghost Baxter and I 203 00:07:40,503 --> 00:07:42,287 had a thing back in '29. 204 00:07:42,288 --> 00:07:44,811 Would it bother you if he and I started hanging out? 205 00:07:44,812 --> 00:07:46,204 As friends, of course. 206 00:07:46,291 --> 00:07:48,163 I was there when they met. 207 00:07:48,293 --> 00:07:49,947 It was love at first fife. 208 00:07:49,948 --> 00:07:52,383 [chuckles] Actually, "love" is a bit of an overstatement. 209 00:07:52,384 --> 00:07:54,517 I needed it for the turn of phrase. 210 00:07:55,344 --> 00:07:56,867 You know what? 211 00:07:56,868 --> 00:07:58,868 I-I think if you wanted to catch up with your ex Baxter, 212 00:07:58,869 --> 00:07:59,949 I would be fine with it. 213 00:08:00,044 --> 00:08:01,742 Okay. 214 00:08:01,743 --> 00:08:04,004 "Okay," like we're good and that's the end of it? 215 00:08:04,005 --> 00:08:05,485 Yep. 216 00:08:09,097 --> 00:08:11,447 Thor not think that the end of it. 217 00:08:13,405 --> 00:08:15,756 Okay, Trevor is gonna give you a crash course 218 00:08:15,757 --> 00:08:18,540 in everything you need to know about your character: 219 00:08:18,541 --> 00:08:20,761 Michael Jackson, financial analyst. 220 00:08:20,935 --> 00:08:22,545 What the hell is my life? 221 00:08:22,676 --> 00:08:25,113 Born on the outskirts of the Motor City... 222 00:08:25,243 --> 00:08:26,636 I don't think we have time 223 00:08:26,637 --> 00:08:28,594 to go through the entire backstory, Trevor. 224 00:08:28,595 --> 00:08:30,247 Yeah, maybe just give me the must-knows. 225 00:08:30,248 --> 00:08:31,685 TREVOR: Okay. [sighs] 226 00:08:31,815 --> 00:08:34,164 First of all, there's a major flirtation 227 00:08:34,296 --> 00:08:35,688 with my coworker Maggie, 228 00:08:35,863 --> 00:08:38,153 who you know from the work retreat we had here. 229 00:08:38,169 --> 00:08:40,879 So, there's a flirtatious thing going on with Maggie. 230 00:08:40,955 --> 00:08:42,696 But he says to keep it respectful. 231 00:08:42,826 --> 00:08:44,174 No, I didn't. 232 00:08:44,175 --> 00:08:46,786 Trust me, Maggie does not appreciate respectful. 233 00:08:46,787 --> 00:08:48,049 Wait, time-out, Sam. 234 00:08:48,179 --> 00:08:49,809 Why do I need to know any of this? 235 00:08:49,920 --> 00:08:52,793 I'm just going to ask HR to forgive Michael Jackson 236 00:08:52,967 --> 00:08:54,925 for sending his boss a stripper-gram. 237 00:08:55,056 --> 00:08:57,624 Okay, but you're going into the lion's den, baby. 238 00:08:57,798 --> 00:09:00,017 You have no idea who you're gonna meet, 239 00:09:00,148 --> 00:09:01,497 and you need to be prepared. 240 00:09:01,498 --> 00:09:03,150 Also, can you find out what happened 241 00:09:03,151 --> 00:09:04,151 with Candi and the HVAC? 242 00:09:04,152 --> 00:09:06,154 I am dying to know. 243 00:09:06,155 --> 00:09:07,633 He says that you just need to be ready, 244 00:09:07,634 --> 00:09:09,244 in case you run into anybody. 245 00:09:09,374 --> 00:09:10,811 Okay. Continue. 246 00:09:10,941 --> 00:09:13,378 So, if he runs into anybody on my team, 247 00:09:13,509 --> 00:09:15,685 this is definitely gonna come up. 248 00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:19,471 Okay. 249 00:09:19,472 --> 00:09:21,472 Michael Jackson is currently closing a deal 250 00:09:21,473 --> 00:09:23,300 for the McDaniels Corporation, who makes soap, 251 00:09:23,301 --> 00:09:25,912 to acquire the McCallister Corporation, who makes sponges. 252 00:09:25,913 --> 00:09:28,045 Now, McDaniels is offering 30 million, 253 00:09:28,219 --> 00:09:29,699 but McCallister wants 40, 254 00:09:29,700 --> 00:09:31,526 but Trevor thinks you'll close at 35 255 00:09:31,527 --> 00:09:34,225 and then celebrate at Peter Luger's with the CEOs, 256 00:09:34,312 --> 00:09:36,967 Conan McDaniels and Galen McCallister. 257 00:09:37,098 --> 00:09:39,491 Sam, I'm not gonna remember any of that. 258 00:09:39,492 --> 00:09:40,927 Also, I told them I could moonwalk, 259 00:09:40,928 --> 00:09:42,886 so make sure Jay is prepared for that. 260 00:09:43,060 --> 00:09:44,671 -Seriously? -What? 261 00:09:44,845 --> 00:09:47,064 How are your moonwalking skills? 262 00:09:47,195 --> 00:09:49,327 Not good, Sam. 263 00:09:49,414 --> 00:09:51,415 Not good! 264 00:09:51,547 --> 00:09:53,462 ALBERTA: Well, it is really good 265 00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:54,985 to catch up with you, Baxter. 266 00:09:55,072 --> 00:09:56,465 [laughs] 267 00:09:56,552 --> 00:09:58,859 Hey, guys. What's, uh, going on in here? 268 00:09:58,989 --> 00:10:01,992 Oh, just hanging out with a friend, 269 00:10:01,993 --> 00:10:03,471 doing a little catching up. [chuckles] 270 00:10:03,472 --> 00:10:04,864 -You okay with that? -Of course. 271 00:10:04,865 --> 00:10:06,518 Yeah, two friends catching up. 272 00:10:06,519 --> 00:10:09,085 What could be more wholesome or totally okay than that? 273 00:10:09,086 --> 00:10:12,176 It's just, we have so much in common, Alberta and I. 274 00:10:12,307 --> 00:10:14,788 For instance, the whole music thing. 275 00:10:14,875 --> 00:10:16,224 Right. 276 00:10:16,225 --> 00:10:17,920 You know, I played a mean oboe in my day. 277 00:10:17,921 --> 00:10:20,707 That's nice, although I died with my instrument, 278 00:10:20,837 --> 00:10:23,492 -so it's sort of a different kettle of fish. -Mm. 279 00:10:23,666 --> 00:10:25,668 Well, good for you. 280 00:10:25,842 --> 00:10:29,585 Ha! You remind me of my flatmate Jenkins. 281 00:10:29,716 --> 00:10:31,805 He's always saying that. 282 00:10:31,935 --> 00:10:32,985 "Goody for you." 283 00:10:33,023 --> 00:10:35,112 [laughing]: Oh, my God! 284 00:10:35,243 --> 00:10:37,724 You do the best Jenkins impression. 285 00:10:37,854 --> 00:10:40,030 How was that an impression? 286 00:10:40,031 --> 00:10:42,336 They're both just British. He barely changed his voice. 287 00:10:42,337 --> 00:10:43,773 This is an impression: 288 00:10:43,904 --> 00:10:46,254 [imitating Richard Nixon]: "I am not a crook." 289 00:10:46,341 --> 00:10:48,082 Oh. Is that Trevor? 290 00:10:48,083 --> 00:10:49,343 [normal voice]: No, it's Nixon. 291 00:10:49,344 --> 00:10:50,867 Here's one for you: 292 00:10:50,954 --> 00:10:53,304 "How 'bout we all pop out to the shed?" 293 00:10:53,305 --> 00:10:54,914 -[laughs] Nigel! Classic! -Ha! 294 00:10:54,915 --> 00:10:56,437 -In one. Well done. -[laughing] 295 00:10:56,438 --> 00:10:58,091 It's not- Th-They all sound the same! 296 00:10:58,092 --> 00:10:59,963 Are you all right, Peter? 297 00:10:59,964 --> 00:11:02,356 [mocking British accent]: No! I'm not all right. 298 00:11:02,357 --> 00:11:04,140 [normal voice]: This is my girl, and if she's gonna be laughing 299 00:11:04,141 --> 00:11:06,012 at any impressions, they're gonna be mine! 300 00:11:06,013 --> 00:11:08,189 Oh, my. I'm deeply sorry. 301 00:11:08,319 --> 00:11:10,278 You know what? 302 00:11:10,408 --> 00:11:12,280 Go fife yourself! 303 00:11:13,281 --> 00:11:15,031 BRETT: I'm sorry that you had to do 304 00:11:15,152 --> 00:11:17,894 this whole, uh, "come in and talk to HR" thing. 305 00:11:17,895 --> 00:11:20,113 I mean, honestly, I thought the stripper-gram rocked. 306 00:11:20,114 --> 00:11:22,524 Oh, well, that's very kind of you, Brettinator. 307 00:11:22,551 --> 00:11:24,074 No, seriously, 308 00:11:24,075 --> 00:11:25,945 no one has the balls to send a real present anymore. 309 00:11:25,946 --> 00:11:27,904 BRETT: Hey, so how about McCallister 310 00:11:28,035 --> 00:11:29,863 -with that counter? -Oh, yeah. 311 00:11:29,864 --> 00:11:31,907 Be honest, what do you think about that termination fee? 312 00:11:31,908 --> 00:11:34,737 Oh, it was brutal. 313 00:11:35,782 --> 00:11:39,524 Or good, depending on if you are McCallister or McDaniels, 314 00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:41,962 vis-�-vis the counter. 315 00:11:43,398 --> 00:11:45,792 Hey, you-you guys want to see me moonwalk? 316 00:11:45,966 --> 00:11:47,663 Uh... hell yeah, we do! 317 00:11:47,750 --> 00:11:48,800 Okay. 318 00:11:48,801 --> 00:11:50,709 -[laughs] -Thought you'd never ask. 319 00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:52,494 -[grunts sharply] -Ooh! 320 00:11:52,624 --> 00:11:54,757 -Ooh! -Oh! 321 00:11:54,844 --> 00:11:57,412 -You're the smooth criminal, MJ. -[scatting] 322 00:11:57,542 --> 00:11:59,457 Ow! ...are you doing? 323 00:11:59,588 --> 00:12:01,808 I am Michael Jackson. 324 00:12:01,982 --> 00:12:03,766 Anthony Valerie from HR. 325 00:12:03,853 --> 00:12:06,290 Okay, so we'll just leave you guys to it. 326 00:12:06,377 --> 00:12:08,640 Good luck, MJ. 327 00:12:09,685 --> 00:12:11,495 Thank you for coming in, Mr. Jackson. 328 00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:12,920 Oh, no, no, it's no problem. 329 00:12:12,921 --> 00:12:14,471 And I just want to say right off the bat 330 00:12:14,472 --> 00:12:16,604 that I know that the stripper-gram was in poor taste, 331 00:12:16,605 --> 00:12:18,045 and it'll never happen again. 332 00:12:18,128 --> 00:12:19,651 Here's the thing. 333 00:12:19,652 --> 00:12:22,001 Once we started interviewing people about the incident, 334 00:12:22,002 --> 00:12:24,652 other complaints emerged regarding your time here. 335 00:12:27,355 --> 00:12:29,825 Take a seat, Mr. Jackson. We have a lot to talk about. 336 00:12:32,480 --> 00:12:37,364 October 4th, while referencing a new Slack headshot 337 00:12:37,365 --> 00:12:39,715 of a female coworker, you commented, 338 00:12:39,802 --> 00:12:41,761 "Giggity, giggity, giggity." 339 00:12:41,848 --> 00:12:44,415 Which a quick Google search reveals to be 340 00:12:44,589 --> 00:12:47,299 the horny catchphrase of a popular animated pervert. 341 00:12:47,375 --> 00:12:50,552 [scoffs] Yeah, I was unaware of that phrase's origins, 342 00:12:50,682 --> 00:12:53,120 and I deeply apologize for that. 343 00:12:53,207 --> 00:12:54,948 October 10th. 344 00:12:55,078 --> 00:12:57,820 You asked your entire team to, quote, "send nudes." 345 00:12:57,951 --> 00:13:00,997 You know, I think I-I meant to type, um, "send news." 346 00:13:00,998 --> 00:13:02,824 [chuckles] You know, I'm a huge news buff, 347 00:13:02,825 --> 00:13:05,785 but I'm also so busy that I don't have time to locate it. 348 00:13:05,915 --> 00:13:07,743 It's a difficult combination. 349 00:13:07,874 --> 00:13:09,658 Look, I get it- boys will be boys, 350 00:13:09,659 --> 00:13:11,354 and this is the finance industry, 351 00:13:11,355 --> 00:13:13,401 but it's not the '90s. 352 00:13:13,575 --> 00:13:15,325 People don't act this way anymore. 353 00:13:15,446 --> 00:13:17,100 You're right. 354 00:13:17,101 --> 00:13:19,885 I joined this industry at a time when things were different, 355 00:13:19,886 --> 00:13:21,408 and-and I've had trouble adjusting, 356 00:13:21,409 --> 00:13:23,453 but I am committed to correcting my behavior. 357 00:13:23,454 --> 00:13:25,587 My mother raised a better man than this. 358 00:13:26,370 --> 00:13:28,372 I hear that. 359 00:13:28,373 --> 00:13:30,939 We're all just out here trying to make our moms proud, right? 360 00:13:30,940 --> 00:13:33,421 Right? My mom always says, 361 00:13:33,551 --> 00:13:35,301 "You can't make a perfect khichdi. 362 00:13:35,302 --> 00:13:38,425 You just have to keep tasting it and trying to make it better." 363 00:13:38,426 --> 00:13:40,210 And that is how I treat my life. 364 00:13:40,384 --> 00:13:42,256 Yeah. That's really good. 365 00:13:42,257 --> 00:13:44,561 And kind of familiar. Where have I heard that before? 366 00:13:44,562 --> 00:13:46,303 I-I just came up with it. 367 00:13:46,304 --> 00:13:47,826 No, it's a pretty specific anecdote, 368 00:13:47,827 --> 00:13:48,957 and I remember hearing it. 369 00:13:48,958 --> 00:13:50,351 Uh, wait. 370 00:13:50,481 --> 00:13:53,267 Have you ever listened to The Todd Pod? 371 00:13:53,397 --> 00:13:55,704 I'm not sure. 372 00:13:55,835 --> 00:13:58,794 Huh, this chef said the exact thing that you just said. 373 00:13:58,925 --> 00:14:02,015 Yep, here it is. Chef Jay Arondekar. 374 00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:03,892 Wait a second. 375 00:14:04,017 --> 00:14:05,540 This is clearly you. 376 00:14:05,627 --> 00:14:07,411 No, not clearly. 377 00:14:07,498 --> 00:14:09,849 What the hell is going on, Mr. Arondekar? 378 00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:14,027 Um... you want to see me moonwalk? 379 00:14:15,115 --> 00:14:16,985 Well, I got fired. Or Trevor got fired. 380 00:14:16,986 --> 00:14:18,944 Michael Jackson got fired? I don't know. 381 00:14:18,945 --> 00:14:21,076 -We're fired. -Seriously? What happened? 382 00:14:21,077 --> 00:14:22,991 You couldn't get Trevor off the hook? 383 00:14:22,992 --> 00:14:24,427 No, I managed that all pretty well. 384 00:14:24,428 --> 00:14:25,690 It wasn't easy. 385 00:14:25,691 --> 00:14:27,256 This guy's got a lot of complaints about him. 386 00:14:27,257 --> 00:14:28,779 ISAAC: Given the speed at which you type, 387 00:14:28,780 --> 00:14:30,173 it's actually impressive 388 00:14:30,174 --> 00:14:31,957 how prolifically problematic you manage to be. 389 00:14:31,958 --> 00:14:34,090 But then the HR guy recognized me 390 00:14:34,264 --> 00:14:36,484 from our appearance on The Todd Pod. 391 00:14:36,658 --> 00:14:38,529 Creepy Todd strikes again. 392 00:14:38,530 --> 00:14:40,704 He was willing to overlook some light sexual harassment, 393 00:14:40,705 --> 00:14:42,882 but he drew the line at identity fraud. 394 00:14:43,012 --> 00:14:44,971 So that's it. I'm fired. 395 00:14:45,101 --> 00:14:47,538 Security carried me out mid-moonwalk. 396 00:14:47,712 --> 00:14:49,192 It was humiliating. 397 00:14:49,279 --> 00:14:51,760 Well, this day has taken a turn. 398 00:14:51,934 --> 00:14:54,644 Michael Jackson's good name dragged through the mud. 399 00:14:54,763 --> 00:14:56,025 I'm sorry, Jay. 400 00:14:56,026 --> 00:14:57,460 I shouldn't have put you in that situation. 401 00:14:57,461 --> 00:14:58,854 JAY: It's not just that. 402 00:14:58,985 --> 00:15:00,464 You lied to me. 403 00:15:00,465 --> 00:15:02,683 There shouldn't be financial consequences for us 404 00:15:02,684 --> 00:15:04,207 if a ghost loses their job. 405 00:15:04,208 --> 00:15:05,860 Why didn't you just tell me what was going on? 406 00:15:05,861 --> 00:15:07,253 I was just trying to protect you. 407 00:15:07,254 --> 00:15:08,690 I didn't want you to worry. 408 00:15:08,864 --> 00:15:10,474 I don't need protecting. 409 00:15:10,648 --> 00:15:12,259 He's right, Sam. 410 00:15:12,260 --> 00:15:14,173 You don't hide secrets like that from your spouse. 411 00:15:14,174 --> 00:15:16,741 Didn't you keep kind of a whopper from Beatrice? 412 00:15:16,742 --> 00:15:19,004 The truth is, I wasn't just protecting you. 413 00:15:19,005 --> 00:15:21,877 I... I was also protecting myself. 414 00:15:21,878 --> 00:15:23,747 Oh, what does that even mean, Sam? 415 00:15:23,748 --> 00:15:26,621 I was embarrassed, okay? 416 00:15:26,622 --> 00:15:28,927 You've made so much progress on the restaurant, 417 00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:30,102 and it's only been a year. 418 00:15:30,103 --> 00:15:31,756 Meanwhile, on my side of things, 419 00:15:31,757 --> 00:15:34,671 we're five years in, and the B and B is still struggling. 420 00:15:34,672 --> 00:15:36,936 Yeah, you're mad at me. 421 00:15:37,023 --> 00:15:39,373 Well, I get it. That makes two of us. 422 00:15:45,031 --> 00:15:47,163 -So... -So? 423 00:15:48,251 --> 00:15:51,254 I think it's possible that you were right. 424 00:15:51,428 --> 00:15:52,478 A little louder. 425 00:15:52,647 --> 00:15:53,735 You were right. 426 00:15:53,909 --> 00:15:55,955 It bugged me. 427 00:15:55,956 --> 00:15:58,304 Even though I know you're not gonna do anything with Baxter. 428 00:15:58,305 --> 00:15:59,393 You aren't, are you? 429 00:15:59,523 --> 00:16:00,573 No. 430 00:16:00,611 --> 00:16:03,005 [sighs]: Okay, good. 431 00:16:03,136 --> 00:16:06,487 Look, neither of us did anything technically wrong 432 00:16:06,574 --> 00:16:08,880 spending time with Donna or Baxter, 433 00:16:08,881 --> 00:16:10,925 but when you're in a relationship, you have to 434 00:16:10,926 --> 00:16:12,666 consider how it's gonna make the other person feel. 435 00:16:12,667 --> 00:16:14,495 I-I get that now. I do. 436 00:16:14,582 --> 00:16:17,280 And don't worry, I won't go to Saint Lucia again. 437 00:16:17,454 --> 00:16:18,629 Thank you, Pete. 438 00:16:18,760 --> 00:16:19,848 Or Stockholm. 439 00:16:19,935 --> 00:16:21,589 Or Banff. Or Denver. 440 00:16:21,763 --> 00:16:23,504 -Pete. -Sorry. 441 00:16:23,505 --> 00:16:26,245 I went on a bit of a tear when I first discovered I could roam. 442 00:16:26,246 --> 00:16:27,594 This was way before we were together. 443 00:16:27,595 --> 00:16:29,204 It's just kind of like, everywhere I go, 444 00:16:29,205 --> 00:16:31,315 I'm the new ghost, and you know how that is. 445 00:16:31,338 --> 00:16:33,028 -Oh, my God. -But here's the thing. 446 00:16:33,122 --> 00:16:35,081 Yes, I can go anywhere in the world, 447 00:16:35,255 --> 00:16:38,301 but there's nowhere I'd rather be than right here with you. 448 00:16:38,388 --> 00:16:40,260 Oh, Pete. 449 00:16:42,914 --> 00:16:45,569 Hey, y-you didn't really think 450 00:16:45,700 --> 00:16:48,170 any of Baxter's impressions were good, did you? 451 00:16:48,181 --> 00:16:50,357 Let it go. 452 00:16:50,487 --> 00:16:51,880 It just gets me steamed. 453 00:16:52,054 --> 00:16:55,275 I mean, it's an art form! You got to respect it! 454 00:16:56,580 --> 00:16:58,234 Sam, I just want to apologize. 455 00:16:58,365 --> 00:17:00,410 I know I put you in a really tough spot. 456 00:17:00,541 --> 00:17:03,131 I just wish that there was something that I could do. 457 00:17:03,132 --> 00:17:05,632 Don't worry about it. You were just trying to help. 458 00:17:05,633 --> 00:17:08,853 I shouldn't be in a position where I needed your help. 459 00:17:08,983 --> 00:17:11,033 It's my fault I can't run my own business. 460 00:17:11,034 --> 00:17:12,987 Look, Samantha, I know you're struggling, 461 00:17:12,988 --> 00:17:14,903 but you're gonna figure this out. 462 00:17:14,990 --> 00:17:16,425 We believe in you. 463 00:17:16,557 --> 00:17:18,037 TREVOR: And when you do, 464 00:17:18,038 --> 00:17:19,732 I think you're gonna look back at this time 465 00:17:19,733 --> 00:17:21,344 with a lot of fondness. 466 00:17:21,345 --> 00:17:22,431 What do you mean? 467 00:17:22,432 --> 00:17:23,999 This time, right now, 468 00:17:24,130 --> 00:17:26,219 while you're grinding it out 469 00:17:26,348 --> 00:17:29,483 and-and living in that uncertainty, 470 00:17:29,484 --> 00:17:31,962 I know it doesn't feel like it, but that's the good stuff. 471 00:17:31,963 --> 00:17:33,094 SASAPPIS: He's right. 472 00:17:33,095 --> 00:17:34,574 Having a goal, having a purpose, 473 00:17:34,575 --> 00:17:36,385 like, that's such a big part of life. 474 00:17:36,403 --> 00:17:38,448 And I miss that. 475 00:17:38,579 --> 00:17:40,450 Also eating. [sighs] That was good. 476 00:17:40,451 --> 00:17:44,236 Many times, so-called "overnight success" 477 00:17:44,237 --> 00:17:46,935 only come after years of failure. 478 00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:48,893 That's true. He's right, Sam. 479 00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:52,680 This actually embarrassing for Thor to admit, 480 00:17:52,810 --> 00:17:54,421 but early in Thor's career, 481 00:17:54,508 --> 00:17:58,294 I struggle to even kill just one Dane. 482 00:17:58,468 --> 00:18:01,210 But then Thor turn 13, 483 00:18:01,297 --> 00:18:03,256 and blood run like river. 484 00:18:03,343 --> 00:18:05,867 I guess tangentially that's what we're saying. 485 00:18:06,650 --> 00:18:08,174 Thanks, guys. 486 00:18:08,304 --> 00:18:10,132 Oh, hey, babe. 487 00:18:10,133 --> 00:18:12,002 I was thinking about what you said before, 488 00:18:12,003 --> 00:18:14,223 and I just want you to know 489 00:18:14,310 --> 00:18:17,661 that there is no your thing or my thing. 490 00:18:17,835 --> 00:18:20,229 It's all our thing. 491 00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:24,190 He is a keeper. 492 00:18:24,277 --> 00:18:28,542 These kind words will surely reap kind acts. 493 00:18:28,716 --> 00:18:29,891 Sex, I mean. 494 00:18:30,021 --> 00:18:31,284 JAY: There are no sides. 495 00:18:31,414 --> 00:18:34,069 We win as a team, and we lose as a team. 496 00:18:34,070 --> 00:18:36,418 Besides, there wouldn't be a restaurant without you. 497 00:18:36,419 --> 00:18:37,855 It was your idea. 498 00:18:37,986 --> 00:18:39,553 I guess it was, huh? 499 00:18:39,683 --> 00:18:40,989 I mean, it was right there. 500 00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:43,050 It wasn't like she invented calculus. 501 00:18:43,051 --> 00:18:45,384 And we're making real strides with the B and B. 502 00:18:45,385 --> 00:18:47,795 We got on that prestigious list of small hotels. 503 00:18:47,796 --> 00:18:50,476 Thanks to the fact the list guy was a huge cocaine fiend. 504 00:18:50,477 --> 00:18:53,523 And now our bookings are up. 505 00:18:53,524 --> 00:18:55,872 I mean, we're about to turn a corner, I can feel it. 506 00:18:55,873 --> 00:18:58,485 You know, some of the ghosts were saying 507 00:18:58,486 --> 00:19:00,312 we're actually gonna look back on this time, 508 00:19:00,313 --> 00:19:03,098 on-on the struggle, and we're gonna miss it. 509 00:19:03,229 --> 00:19:05,274 Sometimes they can be pretty wise. 510 00:19:05,405 --> 00:19:07,450 I recall one evening, 511 00:19:07,624 --> 00:19:10,758 our wine steward dropped dead right before a dinner party, 512 00:19:10,888 --> 00:19:15,980 so I was forced to wield the corkscrew myself. 513 00:19:16,111 --> 00:19:20,681 In many ways, it was the sweetest wine I've ever tasted. 514 00:19:20,811 --> 00:19:22,861 Some of them struggled more than others. 515 00:19:25,800 --> 00:19:30,559 Am I crazy or is it, whenever you're worried about money, 516 00:19:30,560 --> 00:19:32,518 that suddenly a bunch of bills show up? 517 00:19:32,519 --> 00:19:34,998 No, we can keep complaining or we can tighten our belts 518 00:19:34,999 --> 00:19:37,001 and do something about it. 519 00:19:37,088 --> 00:19:38,655 Look, you guys are resourceful. 520 00:19:38,656 --> 00:19:40,308 You'll find a way to hustle up some extra income. 521 00:19:40,309 --> 00:19:41,963 Pete's right. 522 00:19:41,964 --> 00:19:43,964 Your feet are one pumice stone away from being Web-ready. 523 00:19:43,965 --> 00:19:46,195 Okay, I meant like a bake sale. My God, Trevor. 524 00:19:46,272 --> 00:19:49,402 Okay, I appreciate everyone's ideas, but we will handle this. 525 00:19:49,492 --> 00:19:50,928 We're gonna be fine. 526 00:19:50,929 --> 00:19:52,668 JAY: Babe, this is a letter from the IRS. 527 00:19:52,669 --> 00:19:56,107 Apparently, I'm being investigated for tax evasion 528 00:19:56,195 --> 00:20:00,677 because Michael Jackson hasn't paid any taxes for two years! 529 00:20:00,764 --> 00:20:02,874 What? Trevor, you didn't pay your taxes? 530 00:20:02,875 --> 00:20:05,246 I'm a ghost! I don't use any government services. 531 00:20:05,247 --> 00:20:06,769 Also, Isaac told me I didn't have to. 532 00:20:06,770 --> 00:20:08,641 He said it was taxation without representation. 533 00:20:08,642 --> 00:20:11,384 Yes, Sam, please tell Jay that his nonpayment 534 00:20:11,514 --> 00:20:13,821 stands on firm philosophical grounds. 535 00:20:13,951 --> 00:20:16,432 We are so screwed! 536 00:20:16,563 --> 00:20:19,000 Uh, where exactly is Trevor in the room? 537 00:20:19,001 --> 00:20:20,740 He's on the couch, on my other side. 538 00:20:20,741 --> 00:20:23,874 Good. I want to make sure I address this directly to him. 539 00:20:24,005 --> 00:20:25,789 [exhales heavily] 540 00:20:25,963 --> 00:20:29,576 Trevor, I forgive you. 541 00:20:29,706 --> 00:20:30,925 Ah. 542 00:20:31,055 --> 00:20:32,579 Right after I do this. 543 00:20:32,709 --> 00:20:35,146 [screaming] 544 00:20:41,370 --> 00:20:44,112 Captioning sponsored by CBS 545 00:20:44,243 --> 00:20:46,636 and TOYOTA. 546 00:20:46,810 --> 00:20:49,770 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 547 00:20:49,820 --> 00:20:54,370 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0